Words and barber recommendations by Greasylightbulb
Like some of the Thirsty Boys, our reader(s) may have found a hobby of beer appreciation and mediocre poetry can conflict with an attempt to lead a vaguely healthy lifestyle. It’s not that it has to be an inherent problem for a drinker of moderation to fight the battle between a bulging waist line and those oh-so-beautiful little beery calories; it’s just that in a busy modern lifestyle the time to add some yin to that yan can be hard to find. Luckily there’s a whole bunch of diets out there that could be applied instead. You know, if you actually wanted to. Well now we’ve got one that allows you to have “two martinis or bourbon, scotch or rye before lunch, and thick steak generously spread with Sauce Bearnaise“…. so stick that in your Paleo/Atkins/HCG/etc pipe and smoke it, where do I sign?
The Drinking Man’s Diet
Now I’m not about to start drinking before lunchtime in order to lose the impressive sounding 15-20 pounds a month (7-9 kg), but I am interested in how it would work. Perhaps those bourbons get you so tiddly you forget to order lunch? Or maybe after repeatedly turning up at the office smelling of Scotch and Martini a period of unemployment leads to an inability to buy fatty food? The principle gives away that actually it is a version of the Atkins Nutritional Approach. Legend tells that this Drinking Man’s Diet started with William the Conqueror when he became too heavy to be carried by horseback. In response he stopped eating but “took up” drinking, and the pounds flew off. The more modern version understands that we sometimes need to eat, possibly at an important work lunch in order to seal that big business deal or secure the Blahblah account, so altered the ration of food:alcohol to be less extreme. It features meals that include Chateau Lafitte and Champagne, so no wonder it sold over two million copies. In case we were in doubt, there were testimonials too:
Daisy T., showgirl”: “Believe me, it was no fun being taken out to a swell place and all you could eat was some celery and yogurt. Now I order double lamb chops.”
Although the diet’s popularity was short lived due to famous nutritionalist Frederick Stare calling it “mass murder”, it’s author Robert Cameron made a fortune & lived into his nineties. So there. Sadly despite the fact I’d happily pay $1.00 to find out the details, we may be too late for that particular deal as this ad was seen in a 1960’s vintage copy of Man Magazine…… It is however available on Amazon for just $3.30, inflation be damned.
Well groomed Wellington gents who frequent Lance & Michael at Courtenay Barbers may have stumbled across their copies of Man recently. This wee gem of political incorrectness from a bygone age is a Mad Men-esque publication featuring articles on manly hobbies such as golf and embracing alcoholism; short fiction in which the female characters are pretty much just punctuation; and tips like how to adapt your wife’s favorite recipes into something you could seduce your lover with. Of course there are a few photo shoots of naked young ladies too, just in case the reader never got to find out what they actually looked like.
More about Man magazine here, it really is a hilarious read.
The Drinking Man’s Diet has it’s own Facebook page! …..Won’t somebody think of the children etc and so on