Category Archives: Man Points (MP)


Man Points (MP) are a largely subjective unit of measure used by the Thirstyboys to denote satisfaction with a given beer. Man Points are allocated on the basis of factors such as complexity, balance, or occasionally weirdness. Because the Thirstyboys are not extremophiles, Man Points do not necessarily reflect such object factors as ABV or IBU. In general, a big, boozy ale is more likely to be awarded high Man Points if the booziness is well disguised.

Correct application of the unique Thirsty Methodology™ will ensure that a well made albeit light Golden Ale will garner more Man Points than an ultra-hoppy but fundamentally uninteresting IPA or an Imperial Stout that has nothing more to recommend it than high alcohol content. In general, nasty mass market lagers will accrue low to negative Man Points especially if “brandwank” is involved (with apologies to Phil Cook for appropriating his terminology).

Man Points are scored from roughly zero (worst) to ten (impossibly good). In the interests of precision, half points are allowed. The Thirstyboys indicate their scorn for egregiously bad beers by awarding negative points (see below for examples).

In the interests of scientific enquiry here are a few examples to indicate the approximate calibrations for awarding Man Points.

Westvleteren 12                                     9.5 MP[1]

8 Wired iStout/Renaissance                  8.0 MP


Tuatara APA                                         7.0 MP

Three Boys Wheat Beer                       6.5 MP

Epic Pale Ale                                        5.5 MP

Monteith’s Original[2]                           3.0 MP

Monteith’s Single Source[3]                 1.0 MP

Stella/Heineken/Steinlager                   0.5MP

Bud Lite                                               -2.0MP

On occasion, the Thirstyboys have felt inspired to use other equally scientific scoring systems as the occasion demands. For example, a tasting of Session Beers employed a scale based on Scout Badges. Emerson’s Bookbinder was awarded a consensus score of 4.5 Scout Badges. Another time, when Bruce organised a tasting of Quebecois beers, it was agreed that cultural sensitivity required us to Fleurs de Lys as the basis for our rating system.

the jesuit 12/9/2011

[1] Because, if only theoretically, it should be possible to improve on what might be the Platonic ideal of a Belgian Quadrupel

[2] Most of Monteith’s regular line score about the same except their Summer Ale (0.5 MP), which is vile, and Radler (0.0 MP) on general principles. The only further nuance is covered by the next footnote.

[3] Brandwank!

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